As a child of the 80′s, I loved G.I. Joes (how could you not? They were real American heroes). So I get very excited whenever there is going to be a G.I. Joe movie, and then slowly sink into disappointment.
During the Super Bowl there was this preview trailer:
Now, I first saw the G.I. Joe trailer before Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol, and that version didn’t include The Rock, for NO EXPLAINABLE REASON, quoting Jay-Z as inspiration.
“Whatever deity may guide my life, dear Lord don’t let me die tonight.”
What?
WHAT?!?
That’s terrible. As a semi-professional writer, someone who enjoys hip-hop and someone who speaks English, that line baffles me. It would have made just as much sense if The Rock had said “Before we go into battle, I’d like to take a few minutes to tell you about the Chevy Volt.”
Considering Jay-Z’s long history of hits and the fact that this movie appears to revolve around the Joes being framed and disbanded, here’s a couple of better lines the writer(s) could have chosen.
-”I’m a mother****ing renegade.”
-”Star like Ringo, worn like a Green Beret, I’m crazy, bring your whole set.”
-”I’m from the school of the hard knocks, we must not let outsiders violate our blocks.”
-”H to the izz-O, V to the izz-A.”
-”If you’re feeling like a pimp ******, go and brush your shoulders off.”
Or of course: “I’ve got 99 problems but a bitch ain’t one”
Hit me!
